Life's weird, sometimes it will just smack you up side the head and your whole world will change, well I recently had that happen to, but thats not what I'm talking about. It's the your whole world will change part, but more importantly, how you percieve your world. I have been doing a lot of reading, nothing related to this topic, just a few novels, and a few insirational/ spiritual titles. I've also been doing alot of watching, people that is, my soul searching, and a whole lot of praying and Bible reading. I realized something, I mean I knew it, but I didn't see it. As I look back on my life I realize (now) that I had been percieving life as a treadmill full of stumbling blocks. I just had to avoid these blocks and I would reach "my life". Thought my mind travels, I have noticed something. Life isn't a treadmill and those aren't pesky stumbling block to avoid. Life is a path, one that I'm already on. I'v been waiting to "start my life", but I had to wait too many "stumbling blocks", like college, bad jobs, too young, ect. I had hope that one day I'd arrive and be an adult, and every thing would be differend...HAHAHA. Boy, was I living in a fantasy. When I look at people, it's those who work hard who get to play hard, it's those who are determined that don't have to worry about if they tryed hard enought. When you give it your all you can't complain. Well, I have not been giving it my all, I've been trying to as little work as possible so that I could just wait this out till my life started. Well, I know see that these stumbling blocks are really stepping stones to reach plains that I could only hope on day enjoy, these are what i get to do so that I can be who I am, not things that I must endure, till life start. This was quite a realization for me, this concept has been doing to hookie-pookie outside of my conscious, every now and then "putting his left foot in" so that I would begin to wonder. This is a quite the epiphone, this simple realization can improve my life and all my relationships(especially parents). But now it's a battle I see, not one that I try to ignore. The battle became easier, but it's still a battle. And there is  still the aspect of the spotlight, but I can't go into that now, I gotta get some work done.